This Is How “Us & Them” Ends
Five moments love crossed the line—and the family got bigger.
A daily doxa series for the UK church: What They Gave Up, What They Gained - Day 19 of 20
We’re learning a rhythm together: actively remember what God has promised and what He has already done—so we can fight the good fight and win. That remembering births courage. Sometimes courage looks like walking across a line—culture, class, race, history—so God’s rule and reign—justice, mercy, love, joy, peace—can be felt on the ground, on earth as it is in heaven.
Prophetic courage isn’t merely about speaking up; it’s love that obeys. Grace first. Overflow, not effort.
Today’s trade
This series traces a simple pattern we call the trade: someone lays down what they already have (reputation, safety, position, comfort, control), and God gives something better (clarity, freedom, courage, fruit) as they obey.
Today we’re with Jesus & the Syrophoenician woman, Peter & Cornelius, Philip & the Ethiopian official, Paul/Barnabas/James (Jerusalem Council), and Onesimus & Philemon—people who gave up prejudice and comfort zones and gained a family that spans cultures.
Gave up: insider approval, old labels, and safe distances.
Gained: reconciled households, clear direction, and a bigger table.
There is always fire on acceptable sacrifice.
Jesus & the Syrophoenician Woman — the border conversation (Mark 7:24–30; Matthew 15:21–28)
Who they are: Jesus steps into the region of Tyre/Sidon; a Gentile mother (Syrophoenician) begs for her daughter’s deliverance from demons.
Context & date: Northern coastal towns, c. AD 28–30. Centuries of tension separate Jews and Gentiles.
Scene: a quiet house in foreign streets; a mother’s urgent plea; an exchange about bread and crumbs.
Gave up: the social expectation to stay within Israel’s boundaries and timetable.
Courageous act/words: Jesus engages her faith, honours her answer, and heals her child—showing that the bread of God’s kingdom is for more than one table.
How it likely felt: disciples unsettled; a mother relieved; a line clearly crossed.
Felt cost: criticism from those who preferred narrow circles.
Gained: a living sign that mercy outruns maps; a door opened for many like her.
Fire on the sacrifice: a contested conversation became joy and peace in a home.
Peter & Cornelius — the house where the future started (Acts 10–11)
Who they are: Peter, a Jewish apostle shaped by kosher laws; Cornelius, a Roman centurion who fears God and gives generously.
Context & date: Caesarea, c. AD 36–40. A rooftop vision collides with a soldier’s prayer.
Scene: a door Peter wasn’t sure he should knock on; a room of Gentiles waiting to hear about Jesus.
Gave up: reputation protection among strict believers and a lifetime of food-boundary identity.
Courageous act/words: “God has shown me that I should not call anyone impure or unclean.” He tells the Jesus story; God’s Presence fills the room.
How it likely felt: awkward at first; then obvious that God was ahead of him.
Felt cost: pushback in Jerusalem; explaining himself to critics.
Gained: baptism for a whole household; a turning point for the church’s future.
Fire on the sacrifice: one doorway became a river to the nations.
Philip & the Ethiopian Official — a desert road becomes a highway (Acts 8:26–40)
Who they are: Philip, a Greek-speaking Jewish believer; an Ethiopian royal official, a God-fearer returning from worship in Jerusalem.
Context & date: Road from Jerusalem to Gaza, c. AD 34–35. Revival in Samaria pauses; an angel sends Philip south.
Scene: a chariot, a scroll of Isaiah, a question: “Who is the prophet talking about?”
Gave up: momentum in a thriving city ministry and the comfort of the familiar.
Courageous act/words: He ran up to the chariot, joined the conversation, told the Jesus story, and baptised the official on the spot.
How it likely felt: interruptive, surprising, exactly right.
Felt cost: leaving crowds for one person; losing control of the schedule.
Gained: good news carried toward Africa; Scripture opened; joy on a new road.
Fire on the sacrifice: a detour became destiny for regions Philip would never visit.
Paul, Barnabas & James — clear path for every culture (Acts 15)
Who they are: Paul & Barnabas, missionaries among Gentiles; James, a respected leader in Jerusalem.
Context & date: Jerusalem, AD 49. The church faces a defining question: must non-Jewish believers keep the whole law of Moses?
Scene: a crowded council; testimonies of miracles; Scripture read aloud; eyes on James for a verdict.
Gave up: control through extra rules and the safety of pleasing the strictest voices.
Courageous act/words: “We should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God.” A short letter draws clear lines for shared life.
How it likely felt: high stakes; knowing some would be unhappy either way.
Felt cost: criticism from hardliners; risk of fracture.
Gained: love, joy, and peace across cultures; a simple path that let mission run.
Fire on the sacrifice: humility at a council table became clarity for the world.
Onesimus & Philemon (with Paul) — family inside a Roman household (Philemon; Colossians 4:9)
Who they are: Onesimus, a runaway bond-servant who meets Jesus through Paul; Philemon, a house-church host; Paul, writing from prison.
Context & date: Ephesus/Colossae & Rome, c. AD 60–62. The gospel confronts the brutal normal of the ancient household system.
Scene: a letter carried back by the very man who fled; a church listening as it’s read.
Gave up: status hierarchy and the right to keep relationships frozen in the old order.
Courageous act/words: Paul appeals: receive Onesimus “no longer as a slave, but more than a slave—as a beloved brother.”
How it likely felt: risky; neighbours watching; a new story forming in the living room.
Felt cost: loss of face among peers; economic and social disruption.
Gained: mercy and justice under one roof; a model of reconciliation that still instructs us.
Fire on the sacrifice: a small church became an embassy of heaven in a Roman town.
Conclusion
Lines don’t vanish by accident; love walks across them. These stories show the trade: lay down the safety of “us & them,” pick up family. When we remember what God has promised and what He has already done, courage rises—and justice, mercy, love, joy, and peace start showing up where division used to sit.
Tomorrow: The final article in this series! Remember & Build Altars — Joshua’s stones, Samuel’s Ebenezer, Passover to Communion, David’s thanksgiving, and Paul’s “I have fought the good fight.” The trade: give up amnesia and drift; gain anchors that keep faith steady and futures aligned.
We are bulding the doxa app to better remember what God has promised (prophecies) and what he has done (testimonies) so we can fight the good fight (and win).